We’re created to be significantly invisible.

I went to space on Saturday, and it has given me some clarity.

Yes. You read that right. SPACE.

Okay, not literally. But I grabbed hold of the door handle on Apollo 11. You know, the thing that took homo sapiens to the moon.

So yeah, I’ve basically been to space.

Anyway, here’s the clarity:

We live in a teeny tiny existence that feels like a universe. We’re so small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. This is both terrifying and liberating.

Think about it: we’re a microscopic speck on the page of a book in an atom’s library. To this invisible thing, we are too small to see.

Yep.

We are naturally that insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

But here’s the beautiful thing:

God chooses to make us visible.

And He lets us decide how we want to be seen.

As a friend, an acquaintance, a stranger in passing…

As a constant blessing, a giver and taker, a relationship parasite…

As a lover, a mediator, a hater…

As proclaimed Christians, we bear the responsibility of this truth: how we choose to be seen is a direct reflection on His image, whether an accurate portrayal of His character or not.

And this makes us not just visible, but significant.

When we make our faith known to the world, every single action becomes a statement and every word a contractual obligation.

So when we choose to lay our lives down before Jesus, we must not just accept Him as our Savior. We must accept Him as our Lord, Guide, Chief Navigator, Disciplinarian, Father, and Lover of our soul. Forever. Not for a moment. For. Ever.

Because it’s not about us.

It’s never been about us.

And even as our significance increases, it decreases.

Because when we’re doing it right, when we’re living right, in all the radiant visibility we are granted by God, we become once more invisible and only Christ can be seen in, on, and around us.

Just as it should be.


Moment of full honesty: I was thinking about this before I “went to space.” I just couldn’t bypass an opportunity to tell you that I TOUCHED THE FREAKING DOOR HANDLE OF APOLLO 11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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We’re created to be significantly invisible.

Unplugging.

Well, I’ve finally done it. I’ve been obsessing over the idea for well over a year at this point, and I finally woman-ed up and just did it.

I cancelled Netflix.

I cancelled Amazon Prime.

I cancelled WiFi.

My connection to the last of these will be terminated on the 15th of the month, in T-minus seven days.

Starting on the 15th of the month, I will no longer be a Netflix-binger, online-window-shopper, or internet-user in general.

At least for the foreseeable future.

At least until January.

Rather, I’m hoping I can make it that long.

Here’s the thing: my productivity levels at home su-uuuuck. Once I’m home, I’m basically done for the day. I turn on the TV, select a Netflix show, and promptly become a mindless zombie.

I can’t even be bothered to respond to texts; how dare they interrupt my solace.

I once read that a study was done on people who watched TV – they came out literally dumber than before the episode or binge or whatever. I don’t remember where or when I read that, but it has stuck with me for ages. And I’m probably imagining this to some extent, but I feel dumber lately.

When I was 16, I was working two part-time jobs and going to two colleges full-time. I was exhausted. But, like, a good exhausted. The kind you feel when you know you’ve used up every bit of energy your brain and body can produce for the day.

Now I feel bad exhausted.. pretty much all the time. The kind you feel when you have a mountain of to-dos and spend three hours binging Friends rather than completing even a single task. The kind you feel when you’ve been a zombie for so long that you struggle to get creative juices flowing, juices that used to flow freely and allow you to bang out a 5-page essay in 20-30 minutes.

EL. OH. EL.

Don’t even ask how long it would take me to write that essay now.

I was talking to a friend last night and he point-blank asked me if I was living any of the advise I freely give others about pursuing their dreams.

The answer was an obvious and awkward: “um, no..?”

And it was just the push I needed to finally get it together.

So I called Spectrum at 12:05 PM today, and cancelled my WiFi.

I’m hoping this exercise in unplugging will make me so. stinking. bored. that I actually want to tackle that mountainous task list.

I need fewer distractions and temptations to waste my life, and by getting rid of WiFi in my apartment, I’m getting rid of almost all of them.

Thanks to the recent declutter, I don’t own much in the way of entertainment. My books are purged down to just a Bible and 3-4 non-fiction books I’ve been meaning to get to for ages. My collection of movies is downsized to 3 – the Anne of Green Gables series. I have a handful of games and five partially empty notebooks. I’ve got an iPad, MacBook, and iPhone. Oh, and a keyboard.

All of these things are generally ignored in favor of Netflix or YouTube or window shopping on Amazon.

Getting rid of WiFi is getting rid of pretty much everything I do in my free time.

And this idea thrills me.

A world with no old habits to fill the time is a world of endless possibilities.

Who knows what I’ll do first.

I imagine I’ll catch up on sleep again, and maybe finally read those books. I’ll probably get outside more and call friends more and study the Word more. I’ll probably goof off on the keyboard and spend focused energy on developing my vocal range. Maybe I’ll finally get around to experimenting with new recipes in the kitchen. Maybe I’ll go on more adventures to local museums or random far off places. Oh, oh – I might even become a consistent blogger (aaah ha)! After all, there’s nothing else to do.

Just to clarify for the nay-sayers: I’m not cutting the internet or entertainment out of my life entirely.

This should be obvious since my job is 100% an online gig.

Also, as I said, I have an iPhone which has data which means internet. And there’s no way on earth I’m giving up my GPS, the ability to check open/close times of businesses, or an opportunity to fact-check people in the middle of a conversation (because yes, I’m one of those annoying people who has to fact-check EVERYTHING).

I can even use the internet for other things if I should so desire, just not at home.

There’s a Starbucks with great indoor and outdoor seating areas and free WiFi less than a mile away. I’ve got a MoviePass membership (that will soon be swapped for the AMC membership because MoviePass just passed a bunch of new policies that are complete suckage) that I will use to enjoy the frequent theater experience. I have a DVD player and a library card. My iPad is already filling up with books I want to read, and my phone is overwhelmed with Podcasts I intend to listen to on long evening walks. I also have Ronnie, my delightful car that is more anxious to hit the roads than I am.

The point is: I want to make distractions harder to get to; I want to make them a reward, rather than my norm.

So here I go, starting my experimental mutiny of the internet. Wish me luck.

Unplugging.

In case you’ve forgotten who I am…

Well guys.. I’ve been gone an unacceptably long time. A lot has been changing in my life and the result has been maneuvering priorities and ultimately taking an unexpected, lengthy break from blogging.

The wonderful thing is that the changes have all been good. In the five and a half months that I’ve been gone:

  • I got a new job
  • I started working full time (like a real adult!! :O )
  • I set up health insurance (which has come in handy several times recently)
  • I moved out of my family home into a place of my own
  • I turned 22
  • I made new friends
  • I continued to declutter the my life and feel genuine in calling myself a minimalist

I’m going to do a post on what moving out has shown me about myself in the near future, but for now I want to simply share the joy of my new life.

Here’s my home, a place decorated by God through the generosity of my friends and family. I truly believe He had a hand in every gift and hand-me-down because my place is exactly what I have always dreamed of having and only He could have made that happen without my having to spend a dime.

Home is a studio in an old building with original brick walls and gorgeous windows, hard wood floors and 12 foot ceilings.. I’m so blessed.

Here are some pictures I’ve taken in recent months. I hope you enjoy!

bedroom living-area sunshine bathroom kitchen

Thank you for sharing in my bliss. ♥

I can’t wait to get back to blogging more regularly again and it’s definitely something I’m working towards. I can’t promise consistency right now, but know that I’m thinking of you all and miss sharing my heart and life with you.

In case you’ve forgotten who I am…