Do you ever feel…
… like a plastic bag?
I can’t tell you how often those lyrics have run through my head of late (much to my chagrin as I loathe all things Katy Perry). They just so perfectly epitomize life sometimes, ya feel?
Anyway, long time no see. I’ve been sick lately. Like bad, mega, crummy, wish-it-weren’t-so-and-can-I-just-catch-a-break-for-the-love-of-God-fibro-sucks sick.
I’m now on the other end of what was the longest fibro flareup I’ve had to date. From late November to early February, I spent my days crying, eating, sleeping, working, crying, eating.. you get the pic. But like literally. I was in bed for the night by 6pm most nights, sleeping fitfully, hurting painfully. Not to mention the barely breathing depths of depression (because that’s pretty much where you end up when all you do is sleep and work and feel excruciating pain for absolutely no reason at all).
But one day, I just awoke and it was over. Well, the worst of it anyway. I’m back to manageable. I am feeling energy again (what is that?!) and desire (who’s a what now?!)to get my life back together. Which is good, because it’s even pitiful-ier than it was before the worst of the flareup hit and I was already feeling all failure-y. I think I’ve discovered the culprit of this horrifying couple of months (drumroll if you’re into that sorta thing):
Also known as: the meds that were supposed to be helping.
Needless to say, I’m now off them and feeling mucho better. I’ll write up a whole post on this later, ’cause peeps need to know the horrors of the drug that aren’t readily found when researching it.
The last couple of weeks have been catch up. I’ve picked up where I left off with the Great Purge, laundry, getting back in the routine of cooking meals instead of eating icky-for-me-and-definitely-not-enough-nutrients fast food. I’ve started going to church again (LOL – kind of an insider joke, kinda not). I was so fibro-psychically spent from work, I made it to like 1-2 services a month in December and January- which MEGA SUCKED.
Very happily, I’ve now made it to SEVEN services in a row + a prayer meeting and a choir practice (though I was more dead than alive for the latter). Oh, and on Sunday I sang with the praise team again AND did little jumps and air punches at the stupid devil who dared come against me, which -bestillmybeatingheart- was the delight of my worship-God-craving soul. I don’t even care that it meant I slept the rest of my Sunday away because I physically “couldn’t even” after church.
Tomorrow I’m hopping on a plane and heading to New Mexico to see my bestie. Gosh darn have I been missing her since she moved there last summer. It’ll be so good to catch up. I’m thankful the flareup broke when it did, I was really worried I was going to have to cancel which would have KILLED. But I’m feeling better and I’m going and-
wowza life is good..
Seriously, y’all don’t even know how great it feels to step out from behind the thick fog-veil of a flareup. Breathing has never tasted so free. (Is that a saying, or am I still suffering fibro-fog remnants?)
Anyway, just wanted to update y’all on my existence. As in: I still have one.
I’m looking forward to blogging again. Upon my return home, I’ll be retaking inventory of my belongings and sharing the Great Purge (room-by-room as promised) results. I don’t think I’ve quite hit 50% yet, but I’ll tell you, my apartment is feeling pretty breathe-easy of late.
What’cha been up to?